so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
her facebook's as public as her vagina
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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