I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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