what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
