I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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