just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
