i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
