This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
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Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
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my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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