is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
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