just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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