oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
