would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
