So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
