After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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