giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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