I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
