Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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