I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
