If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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