He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
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