My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize