i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
