well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
