well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
