the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
