this beer tastes like vomit already
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
