Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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