dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
