You work out of a Hotel?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
time to smoke my breakfast
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
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