I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
