would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
