frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
