Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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