I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
