I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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