I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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