Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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