I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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