just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I checked into jail on foursquare
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
