The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
