you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
