I need to stop coming to work sober
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
