I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
