What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
