My brain says no but my pants say off.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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