so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
