Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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