is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
