I love black thongs
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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