just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
