i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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