Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Even my vagina gasped.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
