Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
