he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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