Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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