OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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