Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
