I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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