Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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