Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
